Sunday kicked off week 1 of Your True You Journey, an 8 week group program that 6 beautiful women here in Swansea have started together, and we start off with the seemingly hardest, yet sometimes the simplest topic: Letting Go.
Two days later, I was asked by someone else… ‘How do you let go?’
As I’ve been trying to hack into this concept, find the 5 step plan to ‘letting go’, I think back to the time I went to trapeze school for a day in NYC.
We were however many frightening-feet high in the air swinging from a trapeze bar, and guess what? The only way to get down, to get home, was to let go of the bar.
It really was that simple. Open my hands. Detach myself from the bar.
The hard part? I’d be falling an uncomfortable distance to the net below.
I’m sure I held on for a couple swings more than necessary before gathering up the courage to let go and drop.
The lesson here: Letting go takes gathering courage to be in an uncomfortable and unknown space, but the act is practically automatic.
When I let go of the bar I didn’t consciously tell my hand to open up, and my fingers to move in an upward direction.
No. In the moment my mind chose to let go, my body followed suite.
Lesson here: Letting go is a moment by moment choice.
Our final acrobatic move on the trapeze that day was one of those hang upside down and swing to the person on the other side moves, where you have to be swinging in perfect harmony in order to lock arms, and then swing together.
That took Trust.
Trust that the experts would launch our swing at the right time. Trust that the other experienced trapeze artist would have a strong enough grip to hold me, and trust that the nets below would catch me.
In that split second moment when I felt the grip of the other, I had to release and relax my legs to let go of the bar, otherwise I’d be pulled back in the other direction.
Lesson Here: I had to trust the bigger picture. And trust that letting go at the right moment would make everything work like clockwork.
I was not masterminding the whole performance, controlling every action of every person. I had to surrender to my part: Stay present, stay connected, feel, listen.
Now, let’s talk about the fall.
Of course, when playing on a trapeze in a set up that is purposefully there for amateurs, and has an insurance policy to cover any and all accidents, there were many, many, many nets below me, ready to gently break my fall.
In life I often think that I am supposed to be my own net.
Trust me. You do not want me to be a net. I will crack and shatter with the impact of any object plummeting toward me with irreversible gravitational force.
Either that or I will swiftly move to the side and that object will fall splat on the ground.
I can not be my own net.
That in and of itself is a letting go moment. I can not be all things to all people, including myself. I can not fix all problems, including my own.
So if I’m not my own net, then who or what is?
Well, in real life trapeze school, the owner put the net there; the person who created a space for me to play in. They obviously knew I wasn’t going to start swinging and never stop. I’d need to come down at some point.
They foresaw a need and intentionally designed a facility to catch people when they fall.
What is your net for life?
I like to think of mine as the force that created a space for me to play in; the creator of my existence and the world I live in.
I wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something to catch me. I didn’t force, or will, my own existence into being.
Lesson here: I can choose to believe that, if something got me here, something’s going to catch me.
But only if I let go.
Otherwise I will continue to swing back and forth in fear of falling, fear of failing, straining and exerting all of my energy to hold on to something that I think is providing me safety; eg that trapeze bar.
But if I am holding on to that for dear life, I have no life. I am stuck, at some ridiculously high height in the air, not able to do anything but swing back and forth. The view might look good, but it gets old after awhile.
Let go? And and a whole new world opens up.
So you see, there is no 5 step plan; unless Courage, Presence, Choice, Trust and Faith count. Each of those steps are a practice in itself.
Earlier this year I made a picture prayer. A physical representation of the desire I have for my life.
As you see, it starts with Teach Me…
What I’ve learned is, as you ask to be taught, the lessons present themselves.
Practice courage, presence, choice, trust, and faith in each moment, along with a heavy dose of grace & love, just like that daring young man on the flying trapeze, you’ll fly through the air with the greatest of ease :).