Bulimia Uncovered: 29 days to being your quintessential self

Every time I watch My Cousin Vinny, I’m convinced that it explains everything I need to know about life. Ok, maybe not EVERYTHING, but enough to give me a jumping off point to dive into the world of eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image, with you.

If you’ve never seen the movie, run don’t walk. One, because you will laugh so hard your abs will be sore tomorrow, and two, because if you don’t watch it now, heads up you’ll have heard all the best lines by the end of this month 🙂

I’ve had two really good names for this February’s Eating Disorder Awareness blog series, both borrowed from Marisa Tomei’s character (she is my absolute favourite).

Picture it: “What? They didn’t teach you that in grad school eitha?: The real deal behind ‘mental’ eating and body image.”

Because in-my-not-so-humble-opinion there’s a disconnect between what they teach you in grad school about eating disorder support and treatment, and the reality of what’s going on (more on that later in Feb).

But I didn’t go to grad school, and I don’t really know if what I’m about to share is taught or not.

Next? I was leaning toward this title: “Famous for your mud. 29 food and body image stories to inspire.”

Another favourite line that is totally applicable here.

Because when things get out of whack in life, it’s cuz one kind of mud or another gets caught in our [proverbial] wheels and throws us off balance. We all get stuck in the mud sometimes. (Such wisdom from a simple Alabamian townsman.)

And it’s our mud, our stories of hard times that we rarely share. Yet when we do, inevitably someone else goes, ‘Omg! No way! Me too!’

And then what? Neither one of you feel so bat shit crazy anymore.

You’re connected. Instead of feeling shame about what you’re going through, and staying stuck in your mud, you can find a way out together.

There is healing power in sharing stories. Trust me. I learned the hard way by NOT sharing for years, and the turning point was once I did.

So yes, I’ll be sharing my mud with you, which I may or not end up famous for, and which they may or may not have taught you about in grad school.

But I wasn’t convinced on this title either, which meant, there had to be a third option.

I love third options. The way out from black and white thinking. The answer that reflects your truest self without any reason to hold back.

And I finally found it.

There’s a scene in My Cousin Vinny when he’s sitting there, head down, looking forlorn and Vinny admits….

He’s scared. He might f*ck it up.

And Marisa Tomei crouches down to his level, shows some empathy, and says…

“You know what I think? Honestly? I think, that once you’re out there and you’re doin’ your thing, I think you’re gonna be really great. Really great.”

And sure enough, when he was out there, doing his thing, he won the case.

What I see at the core of an eating disorder, is forgetting to go do our thing.

We get so caught up in a pile of mud that tells us we gotta do it like everyone else is doing. We gotta wear the suit, take out the notepad, carry the briefcase, just like the guys with the qualifications and proven experience behind them do (at least that’s what Vinny thought).

Your version might sound different than his, but we all have moments when we feel we’ve gotta prove ourselves. Because we think we’re not enough just as we are.

Which is why the truth Marisa Tomei speaks stayed with me.

Just go do your thing.

So in this blog series, I’ll be doing that thing I do (another favourite movie of mine and yes, sometimes I wish I looked like Liv Tyler.)

And while I’m doing mine, I hope you’re inspired to go do yours. Maybe that’s connecting with others by sharing some mud of your own, or stepping into that thing you do best whatever form of self-expression it is…. writing, poetry, art, music, debate, knitting, cooking, building fish farms, performing surgery, cracking a case, changing a tranny (I had transmission not transvestite in mind, but I guess that’ll do too).

I don’t care what it is.

Just go do it. Go be your quintessential self.

And, it’s ok if you f*ck it up 🙂

 

So, long story kept long, my 3rd option is to call it like it is: Bulimia Uncovered. Because I’ll be sharing my stories of how I got to, and got out of bulimia, and lessons I learned along the way.

And while doing so, my hope is that by following along, you’re inspired to go be your quintessential self.

One ask, if by reading this series you get the urge to share; either my story, your own story, or a form of self-expression that you may not usually let others see, then please go do it. And if you’re sharing on social media, tag me and use the hashtag #bu29days so I can follow along.

Thank you + Love

GGS: My new GPS

Blog - Possiblity

This is a longie but goodie so I’ll cut to the chase. If nothing else, try this at home:

  1. Identify 5-6 people, businesses, or organizations that you admire.
  2. Write down the top three things that you admire about each.
  3. What do those qualities tell you about who you are and who you can be?

This exercise is the best shortcut I know to understanding ourselves. Using others as a window into our own soul. Gold.

I was accidently reminded of this shortcut as I found myself being pulled to these 3 words over the past few weeks.

Grounded. Generous. Service.

Some people would call them ‘guiding words’ but that’s a bit too airy-fairy for me, so I’m thinking of them as my new GPS. Pointing the way to how I want to be showing up in life and what I want as the foundation of my business.

As I’ve asked myself what that actually means, sure enough, my GGS radar has been going off like crazy.

Hello… Why do you think I’m constantly raving about the only place to eat out around here, how to get your money overseas dirt cheap, how I love doing yoga at home, and some miracle workers on the health front?

I engage with grounded, generous and service-oriented businesses each and every day.

Now I know why I love them so much: They fit my own bill.

And now that I’ve woken up to that, I can learn from them. Use what I see in them to show me the way forward. For that, I am forever grateful.

Instead of keeping the (unsolicited btw) rave reviews to myself, I’m sharing them with you. When something changes my life, I want it to change yours.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy a GGS guided ride.

1. How to turn your world upside down from your own living room… aka Gaia.com

I’ve been using gaia.com consistently for the past 2 years. Say no more! Because there is very little I’ve done consistently for any length of time in the last decade of my life, let alone 2 whole years!!!!

Never did I think I’d be doing handstands in my front room without using the wall! But it’s true. And I’ve got Gaia to thank for that.

Clearly they have grounded me, but what grounds them?

Grounded: They make it uber accessible to broaden your physical, mental and spiritual health. And they keep it simple. When you log on, pick the category and subcategory you’re looking for, and you’re good to go.

Generous: As a member, you get amazing value for money. Think your gym, netflix for personal growth, and a holistic health guide all in one… for only 10 bucks a month! There is so much packed in there, you need a lifetime to get through it all. Plus they have new member offers to save you some dough and offer referral scheme where you can end up with free yoga. (Here’s my link in case you want to check them out.)  

Service:  I mentioned they keep it simple, which is a bonus since there is so much variety. Whether it’s a quick 15 minute cool down for after a run, morning yoga routines, or a 15 day guided cleanse, I am never left wanting, which keeps me coming back even after 2 years.

2. How to occupy Wall Street and stay out of jail: Transferwise!

If you’re big on boycotting the banks, check these guys out.

I stumbled across them thanks to a google ad while trying to figure out a way to pay my coach in the US without jipping us both out of 30-40 bucks.

At first glance, they seem too good to be true. Transfer money anywhere in the world without paying bank fees?

So I called their customer service team, which were SUPER helpful as they were genuinely happy to answer all my typical control-freak and risk-averse questions.

Turns out they are legit.

Grounded: They too are simple. No fuss, no muss. Create an account. Pick an amount to send. Enter the recipient’s email. Enter your bank details. Job done.

Generous: When it only costs you £4.98 to send £1,000 to the US, I think that says enough.  But since I like to talk, I’ll expand on this. It’s clear they are not there to make money. Going back to grounded: they believe in what they do, that their service will change your life, and so they keep your money in your pockets and rely on customers coming back and spreading the word.

And here I am voluntarily spreading the word.

They also like to thank their customers for doing. So next time you are wondering how to pay your coach, get paid from your client, send your sister some birthday cash, or send money home, check them out. This link will give you a free transfer up to £2000.

Service: Anything that saves me time and money is a win for me.

3. A tale of two banks that shall and shall-not be named: Go forth with USAA

Speaking of money…. I’ve banked with USAA my whole adult life, thanks to my dad’s service in the US Coast Guard. While they didn’t seem so special to me half a life-time ago, now I can’t rave about them enough.

Grounded: They do what they do for US military families, full stop. My only complaint here is that they should branch out beyond military and beyond the US so that more people could have such a simple and pleasant banking experience.

Generous: They refund any cash withdrawal ATM fees you incur, without a cap on this. Their motor and property insurance policies are astoundingly low. And when you call to speak to someone, it’s like talking to your really nice next door neighbor. They genuinely care.

Service: They understand their customer’s main banking challenge: Mobility. When you get deployed somewhere new every 2 years or so, having a bricks and mortar local branch to do your banking doesn’t really help as you have to move on. They make it easy to do the normal everyday things in life.

Like changing your name or resetting your debit card pin number.  Seemingly simple but you’d be surprised. You gotta hear this…

When I got married, all they needed was a scanned copy of my marriage certificate. Unlike every other organization which has asked to see the original paper copy (including my mobile phone company!!!!) which, I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea to be posting the one and only copy of my marriage certificate around the world, and I’m not too keen on the postage bill.

When my husband and I back packed for 9 months we used our USAA account and another account from a bank-which-shall-not-be-named. I am still recovering from the trauma of this one.

Let’s just say that when you are in the South Island of New Zealand and you get locked out of your account, sending a new pin number via snail-mail in 3-5 business days, or visiting your local branch in the UK, or even, as an olive branch, your nearest local branch which is located on the very north of the North Island, doesn’t really help. Resetting it for you over the phone does (thank you USAA).

It made me think… if one bank/company can go paperless, why can’t everyone else?

I realize that not everyone will be able to experience their service… US military personnel and family members only. If you fall into that category and haven’t looked into it, run don’t walk. Note: Retired military counts too… eg) your dad may have been in the service for 2-3 years in 1978 and you could still be eligible.

4. Awaken your inner Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman with doTERRA

I was introduced to doTERRA about 6 months ago when a friend was telling me about her essential oils business. I had heard of essential oils through some of Gaia’s yoga instructors, and even had a couple in my house that were just sitting there collecting dust. When my friend sent me a few samples to try, I was hooked.

Grounded: Their name means ‘gift of the earth’ in Latin. I don’t think you can get more grounded than that. 🙂

Seriously though, they stand firm in how they source and produce their product. Lavendar from the South of France, lemons from Italy. Think of their products as the equivalent of Champagne from Champagne, or Parmigiano from Parma . They source nature’s bounty from its indigenous region with the ideal growth environments, harvest at just the right time, and extract the oils in a way that ensures the best quality.

They get a lot a heat for their self-regulated CPTG standard, but they still stand by what they do. Just because there’s no industry regulator in existence, doesn’t mean they can’t hold themselves to standards.

Generous: They are consistently giving back to their members. Free products, monthly discounts, and opportunity to earn when you spread the word. (You can find out more here.)

Service: It works. Which makes it easy for them to stand behind what they do. The oils have aided in my digestion, skin repair, coughs, joint and muscle aches, and more. Added bonus: they smell nice and look pretty 🙂

5. Where to go when you’re craving a piece of NYC but stuck in Wales: Wright’s Food Emporium

The moment I walked into Wright’s 18 months ago, I knew I was home. The vibe is like none other I’ve come across in my 8 years of living in the UK. I was so smitten, I fulfilled my dream of being a waitress, just so I could be in this space on a regular basis. I would walk around the sun-flooded tea room, or the fire-lit cozy, or the laid-back and inviting wine room, and send out gratitude for finding the closest thing to a West Village haunt in this countrified corner of Wales.

Grounded: Their values are clear: Good Food & Good Vibe. In a part of the world where I’ve been to pubs and I swear the peas and carrots were boiled from frozen (my childhood nightmare) and the bread from Asda, walking into a place that makes their bread and cakes daily, on-site, and only uses fresh and organic meat and vegetables, was like putting on an oxygen mask. These people appreciate food and know how to cook it.

Generous: They also know how to make you feel at home. You walk in and seriously, everybody knows your name. Which takes people going out of their way to give you the time of day. You’re not just another customer. You’re a person they are genuinely interested in. 

Service: You go there for the food and for sure will leave with full bellies. Even better, you leave with a fuller heart.

6. How to heal your gut + smell nice at the same time: Chuckling Goat

Last Christmas I wanted to treat myself to some natural, handmade, soaps; locally made if possible please. I googled something to that effect and came across a website called Chuckling Goat.

Hmmm… Interesting.  What’s goats got to do with soap?

Everything when the soap base is made from goat’s milk kefir.

Grounded: Kefir and gut health is veering toward trendy these days, but that is not why Chuckling Goat exists. The story is fascinating… how kefir and essential oils saved the owner’s son’s and husband’s lives. Because they have experienced the healing power first hand, they do not compromise their product.

Raw goats milk from their free-range, organic goats, is fermented with their unique strain of kefir grains. Nothing is added to the goats milk other than the grains.

Which means it doesn’t suit everybody’s taste buds. But who cares if it works.

Generous: The owners opens up their home once a month for customers to meet the goats and have their health questions answered. They want to see your body healed and life changed; so much so, that they will spend time with you until all you have all your answers and then some.

Service: They want you to be empowered to own your own health. Once you accept the choice is yours, their products do the rest.

I was only interested in the soap at first (again: smells nice, looks pretty 🙂 ) but after 2 hours in their kitchen, I got thinking… maybe the kefir could help with the dry skin on my right hand? If not, it might help with the wind I get after eating red meat? Not things that were high on my ‘to-fix’ list, but I realized that I don’t have to settle. The discomfort can dissipate if I take responsibility for it. My husband and I both did a 21 day course of Kefir and both those symptoms have noticeably improved (he’s very grateful for the latter 🙂 ) with the added bonus that we no longer keep a stash of chocolate in the house. Sugar cravings? Gone.

In summary:

If you’re still reading, 1. if you can’t tell, I highly recommend engaging with these GGS businesses. Your life will change. 2. I also highly recommend taking the time to learn from those around you that you admire. 

You may not feel like you are ‘there yet’ (I know I certainly don’t) but everything I’ve highlighted in purple reflects back to me inherent values of mine. Which creates the possibility for me to make it onto my own list one day.

I’ll be using the following as my GPS this year.

  • Grounded: You know who you are. What you do, and why you do it.
  • Generous: You freely give without expectation of anything in return.
  • Service: You make a difference.

I’d love to know: What will you be using as yours? 

And what would make a difference in your life right now? Let me know in the comments below.

And if having a conversation about your life would make a difference, schedule a time to chat.

Chicken skin and green stuff

I just made this Kriss Car recipe with some twists…

Flax and Chia Seed instead of Hemp.

And Spirulina and Organic Bee Pollen as the protein powder.

Green algae never tasted so good!

If you had told me 2 years ago that I’d be making something like this I wouldn’t have believed you.

2 years ago I thought I was good to go because I was eating chicken drumsticks with the skin on. That was an accomplishment because 5 years before that I hardly ever cooked meat, and 5 years before that I DEFINITELY would not be eating chicken skin. Way too much fat (was the story in my head).

2 years ago I thought I had come so far. Now I eat green stuff for breakfast, what?

It’s funny how just one choice after another gets you to where you are.

Deciding I was going to stop being bulimic got me to chicken drumsticks.

Deciding I was going to stop eating processed foods and cook from scratch as much as possible got me to today’s concoction.

Not without it’s twist and turns; there were many other choices and decisions along the way.

  • I’m letting myself put on weight.
  • I’m not going to make myself sick anymore.
  • I’m going to buy a box of crackers and I’m not going to eat them all at once.
  • I’m going to have a hamburger and fries when I’m out on a date.
  • I’m going to bake mom’s homemade cookie recipe from scratch, on my own, in my own kitchen.
  • I’m going to stop buying packaged foods if I can’t pronounce the ingredients list.
  • I’m going to cut down on sugar and alcohol.
  • I’m going to stop buying bread from the store because bread only has 5 ingredients in it, not 15.
  • I’m going to try having a green smoothie for breakfast.

Change is a process. Sometimes it happens over night but usually it takes one foot in front of the other, stringing together choice after choice.

The cool thing is, keep choosing you… your health, your wants & desires, your dreams…

And then one day you wake up and realize you’re where you always wanted to be.


 

What decision have you been putting off but deep down you know is what you need or want? Can you make that decision today?

PS Made a big decision and not sure what the next right move is? Let’s talk. We can figure that out together.

The importance of eating pie when you want to succeed

If I had to sum up 2015 in one word, it’d be this: Failure.

This is the year I learned how to fail. And for the most part, not gracefully.

I did learn this though: With a scoop of Humble Pie, a Failure can easily turn into a Success.

Let me explain…

First off, you should know that I’ve avoided the F-word like the plague. Ever since 1st grade, when they had us line up side-by-side in the schoolyard at the end of recess, and I got the stern look from the school-aide for giggling, that was it. I never wanted to experience that look again so I did my damnedest to stay out of trouble.

Mistakes not allowed. Always stay on the good side of authority.

If you thought admitting ‘I’m not perfect’ a year ago was a big pill to swallow, trust me, admitting ‘I have failed’, was a pill so big, it got stuck in my throat more than a few times.

After finally choking it down, I woke up to this secret: In order to be successful, you have to fail.

I took a step back. If failure is so necessary, where’s the ‘How To’ guide? And more importantly, how come the idea of it gives me agita?

Maybe my definition of failure was off?

Nope. Thanks to google I’m completely on board with the many definitions of fail:

 

  1. Be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal. Check. There are many goals that have not come to fruition. Let’s see… 2 downloadable products on my website that didn’t generate one sale, 2 group programs that no one signed up for, at least 4 potential clients this year that ended up saying ‘No’.
  2. Neglect to do something. Double Check. The number of times I said, ‘I will contact so-and-so this week.’ or ‘I will write about xyz.’ and for whatever reason, didn’t.
  3. Cease to work properly; break down. I love the example they give here… as in ‘cease trading because of lack of funds’  Ha! Our fish farm hasn’t even had the luxury of starting to trade and we’ve experienced a of lack of funds.
  4. A mark which is not high enough to pass an examination or test. Now this is the one I’ve been most familiar with. Not because I ever did end up with an F on a paper or exam, but because I always knew not to go here. Even when I scraped by with a D+ and a D- in two college courses (both in psychology and now I analyze people’s minds for living… i know, right?) I made sure I didn’t Fail.
  5. A mistake, failure, or instance of poor performance. I’m not sure how the dictionary people expect this to be measured, but I can for sure say I’ve had a few F’s here. F for, royally f*cked that up. Luckily I’m not performing surgery or building rocket ships… I’m only f-ing up relationships with people. Putting big feet in my mouth, responding with an ego that is trying to cover up an enormous amount of fear that makes me come across sounding like a complete donkey.

It was only slightly less traumatic looking up the definition of failure.

‘Lack of success.’

That pretty much sums up last year, and hey, while we’re at it, might as well include 2014, the year I first ventured out to create a thriving business of my own, which has yet to get anywhere close to happening.

I was still asking this question: If failure is so necessary, why has it felt like crap?

Until I realized this: when you turn ‘I failed at xyz’ into ‘I am a failure’ you’re no longer dealing with a factual event that can be objectively looked at and learned from. You’re now dealing with shame.

And shame sucks. It feels like the biggest punch ever to your belly, the worst dagger eyes any school-aide has ever given EVER, the loudest snickers from your so-called-friends and supporters.

It hurts.

And most, including yours truly, would rather die than experience that. Ok maybe not die, but definitely do everything in my power to avoid feeling that way, including not trying in the first place.

But let me clue you into something else I learned this year.

You and your world do not implode into a million little pieces when you fail.

That’s because YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.

When you fail (as in any of the 6 definitions above), your lungs and heart keep working. The world keeps turning. People keep going about their daily lives and frankly my dear, they don’t give a damn.

I made a list of my failures and successes over the last two years, and guess what, the success list was longer.

The funny thing is that until I made the list, I was only conscious of the failures.

Why? Because I was letting them define me.

Remember how failure = lack of success?

Well, since I had a long list of successes I got really excited. That means I didn’t fail, right!?

Wrong. I still failed on many individual occasions.

BUT, I also got to pick the ending of the next story.

And this is when the ball dropped:

Failure ≠ Lack of success.

Failure = Gateway to success.

If you let it.

And they DEFINITELY don’t teach you that in law school either (Extra credit to anyone who can name that movie! :))

I’m a closet fan of word etymology so had to dig deeper, and get this… the root of the word failure means this: ‘cessation of supply’. The root of the word success: ‘come close after’.

In my book, failure is a true failure if you let it stop the supply. If you freeze, take no more action, give up and walk away with your tail between your legs.

True success is what ‘comes close after’ any one of those 6 definitions of fail and you DON’T end up stopping the supply.

Success is when you pause to reflect. Ask yourself, ‘What did I learn?’, ‘What could I do differently?’ Use the unwanted outcome to point you closer to your sweet spot.

Sometimes it means pulling the plug and starting over. Sometimes it means giving yourself some space. Sometimes it means asking for help, or saying you’re sorry.

Inevitably, it takes eating some Humble Pie.

But trust me, if you do that, then you’ve just experienced Success.

The last cool thing about all of this is this:

Remember that tendency to internalize a failure (or a success) into who we are? Well, let’s try that again.

I am a ‘cessation of supply’.

I am a ‘come close after’.

Doesn’t make sense.

But this does:

I choose to ‘cessate/stop supply’.

I choose to ‘come/take action close after’.

Which means, really, I get to be a person who chooses failure or success in any given moment.

I don’t become a success or a failure.

I still get to be me.

The Misfit Marketing Strumpet

“Learning to eat for nourishment and pleasure, instead of swallowing fear, has been the biggest challenge of my life.”

Amen sister.

Great read, and checkout her blog for more ED stories. You’ll see you’re not alone.

Fucking Awesome Bulimics I Know

I have known this girl all my life. She was not the kind to get all screwed up, with anything. She was so good at high school: studious, diligent, polite to everyone, and great at math. She continued on to be a successful grown up working in schwanky advertising agencies, strutting around in high boots, with plenty of friends and never seemingly lacking in love. That’s how it looked on the outside. On the inside she carried a secret fear — that underneath it all lay an unlovable fat girl who could bust out at any time. She did everything to squash that fat girl down.

That girl is me, Angela Barnett. Writer. Mother. Body Image Advocate. Kiwi. Founder of this place.

As a Gemini I found the process of interviewing myself very satisfying… especially as I put on a blonde wig to ask the questions.

Do you like your…

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We don’t need no resolution

The first 12 hours of 2016 have not gone to plan and I am still at peace.

I will count that as a win.

Here’s why.

The party animals that we are, my husband and I crawled into bed at 12:07am. After having a restless sleep the night before, we were looking forward to welcoming the new year by sinking into a freshly made bed and quickly drifting off into a peaceful slumber. Which made the tossing and turning that continued well past 1:30am a very unwelcome event.

We went to bed motivated for today, welcoming a fresh start. Which looked like getting 5 loads of laundry done, starting some new morning routines, and having a general sense of order and achievement to the day. So when the natural sunlight (ok that’s a stretch, the sun was still buried behind a perpetual layer of clouds so let me rephrase… faint daylight) woke me up, I knew something was off. And sure enough it was 8:50am. Bugger, we overslept.

Next thing I know, my husband is rushing from our bathroom to bedroom to garage, trying to dress his sleepy-eyed self along the way, which made me think… hmmm… something must be up with the fish we keep in our garage. Yup, the tanks overflowed (again) and he spent the next hour and half cleaning up the mess.

I’ve always been just a tad ritualistic when it comes to New Year’s. Things like… change sheets, clean house, shave legs, wax bikini… all make it on to New Year’s Eve checklist in an effort to start the year off on the right foot.

A driving force for pristine-ness. The achievement of ‘make everything as white as snow’ serving as an omen, a safety net, that this year everything will be OK.

Translation for: I will be OK.

Funnily enough, days like today generally don’t fit that bill.

Except that today, I don’t care.

And that my friends, is the win.

To be able to take things in stride.

To say, ‘Eh, It is what it is.’ And mean it.

For life not to have to look a certain way in order for things, and me, to be OK.

I asked myself, ‘What’s different this time?’, and my answer boils down to one word.

Choice.

Last night at 1:30am I had a choice. I could’ve rolled my eyes at my husband as he kept pulling the blanket and waking me up just as I was on the verge of falling asleep and made some cranky-pants remark. (Full disclosure: This was a very real option.)

But in the end I chose something else. To say, hey, let’s try focusing on our breath and quiet our minds.

Let me hold you. Share our warmth and put our bodies at ease.

Connection.

This morning, I could’ve paced around my house in a state of fear, worrying about what was going on in the garage. Are the fish OK? Will he be electrocuted? What if the garage door breaks and he gets stuck in there?

Again, very real thoughts. But instead of being paralyzed, I went about my day.

Breathed through the vulnerability that what happens in our garage is totally out of my control and Let Go.

We all have the choice to do life differently. Making a Resolution…. a decision prior to any action in that direction… rarely cuts it.

As we went to bed last night we shared our personal ‘resolutions’ with each other.

Mine was for my mornings to incorporate stillness, prayer, and meditation. To ground myself before my day really gets going.

I caught myself today as I was about to dive into a task that would’ve served as a really good distraction and vulnerability avoider from the garage-situation.

Just as I was about to open a new document to create a bio-security measures plan for our fish farm, I thought, nope, that’s not how you said you wanted your day to go.

So for all of 2 minutes I sat still, said a prayer, and attempted a meditation.

I chose to put my desire into action. I chose to say Yes, to what I really want.

In my book, those 2 minutes were another win.

And if I choose to do that tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after, soon I’m living my life the way I want to

Batteries are going to die, pumps fail, systems break down. Plans fall through. We can’t fall asleep.

In short, shit happens. 

But you always get to choose what you really want.

You don’t need a resolution.

You just keep choosing you.


PS Want some help making those choices that say yes to you? Let’s Talk.