How to ‘Get Away’ without going anywhere

For the past 3 weeks I’ve been crying out for space, a retreat, a vacation. I wrote about that here.

Aside from realizing I get to be my own boss, work on my own terms, and play when I want to, I also realized that over the past 3 weeks, I gave myself everything I was asking for.

I didn’t have to cross any borders or hop on any planes. And most importantly, I didn’t crash and burn.

Here’s how I did it and how you can too:

  1. Un-plug to plug-in. Create space from what’s going on around you so can connect with you, connect with God. Go for a sunset walk on your own. Turn off the TV and climb into bed earlier than usual with a book. Have ‘church in the yurt’ with your friends where you can bare all, dance, sing, and fill your soul. Appreciate the beauty around you, just as you would when you’re sipping cocktails and watching the sunset over the Mediterranean from the patio of your beach villa.
  2. Go crazy. Follow your intuition to that place outside your comfort zone. You know when you’re travelling and you end up doing crazy things you’d never do at home, like catch a ride with strangers, invite your tour guide over for dinner, play beach volleyball in a bikini… It’s different, new, and exciting. So do something out of the norm at home and get high off the buzz. Like, have some women over your house for a ‘Creative Kitchens by Kendra’ party. Or dance to Cream Anthems at 10pm as if you were in a club. Why not?
  3. Pamper yourself. Let’s be honest, we’re all smart cookies here. If we know how to build business plans and birth babies, we also know how to pamper ourselves. We just rarely make time to do it unless we’re away. So make the conscious choice to put yourself first and awaken your senses. For me that includes:
    1. Daily exercise that is fun and motivating. I’ve always moved more freely when on vacation… morning beach runs, hikes, evening swims. While that wasn’t accessible, a big thank you to myyogaonline.com’s 14 day Conscious Cleanse (and ps, this is an affiliate link, I get a free month of yoga if you sign up.)
    2. Creating food with a twist. I’ve mastered the chocolate mint green smoothie for breakfast and invented a sweet potato and beetroot dish to die for.
    3. Adding some new scents into my life. A friend sent me some Essential Oils and I’ve been soaking in the absolutely divine grapefruit and peppermint scents like no tomorrow.
    4. Taking care of my skin. I’ve been taking time to moisturize my hands with honey and olive oil, wash my face with a honey and sugar srub, and have replaced my toxic cleaners with natural probiotic ones.
  4. Play. When you’re away, you do stuff ‘just because’ without any attachment to the outcome. Anything from splashing in the pool, to riding ski jets, to playing cards. I don’t normally ‘play’ at home, but was inspired to weed my friend’s garden and realized that this is my version of play. Just get in the zone, forget about all else, and create some beauty in the meantime. Whatever floats your boat, go do it.

Funnily enough, 3 weeks of all of the above and I feel like I have just come back from being away.

I’m more relaxed. My husband isn’t picking up on a stress vibe and encouraging me to stop working like he was a few weeks ago.

I’m sleeping better and waking up before my alarm (this is seismic btw!)

I have more energy, a reflection of how I’m caring for my body AND my soul. I’m only doing things that give me energy and have stopped doing things that were depleting me.

A couple of other things that made a difference:

I actually said out loud to my husband: ‘I am needing space right now.’ In the past I would’ve felt guilty, or been afraid that this might create a rift. This time, I was so in tune to what I was feeling and what I needed, that there was no point in sugar-coating it.

Sometimes you gotta own it.

And of course, because he saw that this was true for me, and I was doing something about it in a healthy way, he wholeheartedly supported my 9pm solo walks in the park, and willingly set up a tent in our garden so I, and we, can have more space.

Which leads me to the last awesome take-away from my non-getaway.

Bring your ‘time away’ home with you.

When I say, ‘I want to get away’, there’s really only 2 scenarios that I’m thinking of.

  1. Camping in the mountains with loads of fresh air, crystal clean lakes, and hikes to some jaw-dropping views.
  2. A villa in Italy, by the beach, with a salumeria, fresh formaggio, and local vino within a 10 minute walk.

While neither one were possible to replicate this month, I do have the next best thing at home with me now.

bivvyA tent (technically a bivvy for carp fishing, but shhhh…) in my back yard so I can camp to my hearts delight.


IMG_4457

And a little piece of Italy that I will use on a daily basis (as well as tomatoes and basil growing in the garden.)

Woman, try it. Give yourself the space you are asking for. ‘Get away’ even if you don’t go anywhere.  You will come back refreshed, ready to take action from a softer place, with your creative juices flowing, I promise.


I also get it; there’s nothing like the real thing. Which is why my friend Michelle McCormick and I are hosting a retreat later this year so you can actually get away. We’ve experienced first hand the magic that un-plugging, adventure, pampering and play, can have on your life and your business.

Which is why we’re creating that space for you, as well as a container to help you apply the experience back to ‘real-life’.

8 women are invited to join us for a 3 month experience, including a week in Hawaii this October. This is for the woman who wants to be creating with soul, taking action from her heart, and wants to design a life and business that works for her.

Are you this woman?

If so, I want to connect with you. Let’s make time to talk one-on-one. Easiest way is to schedule some time here, or email me at kendratanner121@gmail.com.

And if this is the first time we’re connecting, Michelle and I have something for you: we’re passing on some of the nuggets that we’ve learned along the way, and inviting you to our upcoming Coffee Talks. Visit this page to get exclusive access to our past hangouts and info to join us live next time.

See you there, and let me know in the comments below how else you ‘get away’ without going anywhere. I’m all ears!

There’s a new Boss Lady in town

For the past 3-4 weeks I’ve heard myself say out loud to at least 3 people in my life: I am craving space. I just want to go away somewhere.

Under normal circumstances, this might not be a big deal. Book a weekend away, plan a holiday, unplug the internet for a few days. Except that this urge came at the most inopportune time because 4 weeks ago, my month of June looked like this:

  1. Launch the 5 day True You Treasure Hunt, in anticipation for…
  2. The delivery of Your True You Journey, an 8 week downloadable guide to finding who you are while solving a problem in your life.
  3. Start a group program simultaneously that takes 6 women on their True You Journey together.
  4. Find another 6 women that felt called to attend the ‘Freedom in Faith’ retreat that I wanted to do this July.
  5. Update the 21 page business plan and financial forecasts for our Tilapia hatchery business and complete the loan application to secure half of our start-up cash.
  6. Stay on top of a myriad of daily and weekly things that included submitting two tax returns, and a proposal for a talk at Ignite Cardiff.

My head hurts just reading this list.

Here’s how June turned out:

Number 1, 5 and 6 happened as planned, 2 is about to show it’s pretty face, 3 and 4 are on hold, and I averted a mini-crisis by, for the first time in my life, acknowledging that I was asking too much of me.

I was asking myself to work hard, push through, and sprint the last mile of a marathon, all things that I have done before, easy peasy. In my corporate life, I was constantly juggling 5+ projects in the air while keeping the hamster wheel running. This was expected, applauded, and was a sign of future success.

Time off? Space? Slowing down? I saw it as a sign of weakness.  I held performance conversations with members of my team who couldn’t keep up. Vacation was a nusciance, getting in the way of things that had to be done.

Not now though. There is a very different me at play. The left-brain’s given more air time to the right-brain. The go-getter has morphed into a gift-giver. The high-heels have surrendered to bare feet.

I’ve woken up to the fact that I can do this differently. I don’t have to be a slave to my work anymore. And as my own boss, I get to build in time for stopping.

Because if I don’t, then my work is just another job. My marriage plays second fiddle. The people I want to serve, get trampled on.

There’s a new Boss Lady in town, and she likes to do things differently.

She’s OK with changing the delivery date. I’m ditching the word deadline, because guess what, nobody’s going to die if I don’t do something when I said I would.  It’s great to have a due date, but just like delivering a baby, who usually comes earlier or later than expected, the project might be delivered earlier or later than expected. That is OK. (Of course you probably want to perform a c-section when it comes to the taxman.)

She likes to birth one baby at a time. I’ve never wanted twins, so I’m going to listen to my own wisdom there and focus on one thing at a time. Focus my creative energy to birth one beautiful, healthy, happy baby, instead of preemie quadruplets that need a lot of extra care after they’re delivered.

She likes to be consistently inconsistent. As much as I am a sun-goddess and will find that one patch of sun in the garden to bask in, I take after the moon.  I will be present every day, but my light will look different to you. Even when you can’t see me, I’m there: thinking, writing, scheming, connecting, waiting until the right time to be visible.

She likes to play first, work second. The more I play, the more I imagine. The more I imagine, the more I create. The more I create, the less I need to work. Enough said.

This is what I’ve come to terms with in the past month. It’s the difference between wearing the pants and letting your hair down.

It doesn’t mean that I let myself off the hook and when due-dates come and go, say, ‘Oops, sorry! I was off dancing with butterflies and making daisy chains.’ I still own the responsibilities to myself and others.

But instead of fighting this urge to be more of me… a woman on a mission who glows when she’s chilled out… I’m leaning in, embracing, listening to the chilled out me.

Can you relate? What works for your Boss Lady?

Are you unsure? Let’s have a conversation so you can find out. Get in touch and let’s make time to chat (or use my easy peasy scheduler.)

I also have a gift and a special invitation for you. My friend Michelle McCormick and I have jammed on a lot about how you can slow down, trust your intuition, and create the life and business you want with grace and ease. I want to share our hangouts with you, so visit this page and leave your email to get access.

And you’re invited to our upcoming Coffee Talks, where we’ll be giving you individualized support on how you can be your own Boss Lady. Sign-up to get the details on when, where, and how to join live.


Leave a comment below about how you work best as a woman. I’m curious!

The Treasure I Found: Lizards, Avocados & Woo-woo

This week I’ve been on a Treasure Hunt and it’s taken me places I had no idea were there to go.

On Monday I introduced a process aka the True You Treasure Hunt, that someone can use to access their truth, what is at your core. To move past what your mind tells you so you can get to your heart.

And while I know all this stuff in my head, living it is a totally different ball game.

I use this process on a regular basis and so, rookie error, thought I had it in the bag. I’m constantly aware of how my expectations, judgements and fears are getting in my way. Stepping away from old patterns, expanding my reality.

Let me just say, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that your reality can’t get any bigger.

I fall in there all the time, and just got scooped out.

I didn’t expect this to be waiting for me:

  1. Accepting that I am a Lizard. In more ways than one, but for now just know that I am a cold person.  When the temperature dips below 65F outside, it’s uncomfortable for me. I’ve been telling myself that the weather doesn’t matter. I ‘should’ rise above it. Sorry. That’s not me. I’m sitting in my house right now with a hot cup of ginger water and a blanket over my shoulders on June 5th. It’s 61F outside. Being cold affects me. It’s up to me what I do about it.
  2. Jumping for joy when I found a local fruit and veg wholesaler where I can get 10 avocadoes for £1. Why did I care? Because it reminded me of California. Of farm stands in the US where you drive along and can get steals on locally grown produce as you support local, natural, organic, simple. Having super affordable and easily accessible fresh, wholesome, fruit and veg that is not individually wrapped in plastic is important to me.
  3. The realization that I love creating in the kitchen more than I love coaching. F*ck! I told the world that I am a coach! I’ve been trying to build a coaching business for 18 month. But really I want to cook. What does that mean??? That was my initial reaction. And then I realized that I can do both. Because I actually do love coaching as much as I love cooking. I love finding the individual threads in someone’s life that when strung together, burst open their reality of life, as much as finding individual ingredients that when mixed together, burst with tantalizing flavours. Kitchen work comes out on top right now because at the moment, it is more sensual.
  4. I love saying f*ck and sh*t sometimes. This does not make me love God less. This doesn’t make me vulgar. I am not a bad person. Sometimes there are no other words to express what I’m feeling. And until I find those words, some choice four letter words will do.
  5. The True You Project is for me. I need this journey as much as anyone. I am not ‘there yet’. I will never be ‘there’. There keeps changing. We are all on the same journey. Whether you call it your true you, your wild soul, the hero’s journey, or use any other words, we are all on a path to connection with our deepest self and with God. One that asks us to face our dragons, shadows, or as I so un-eloquently call it: expectations, fears and shame. I am not the only one that wants this for you.
  6. I am really good at thinking. I should’ve known this because for 10 years, my performance appraisals gave me an ‘Outstanding’ for thinking. Sometimes I think I think too much. That I’m OTT. That my thoughts overwhelm people. I am an INTP. So yes, I probably do overwhlem the ESFJ’s of the world. But I also make it really easy for other thinkers to simplify the barrage of thoughts flying through their head. And then it’s easier for them to access their heart, their wild soul, their hero, their God, their truth.
  7. I’m actually open to the world of ‘woo-woo’. I’ve been avoiding getting too close to things like Reiki, shamanism, energy work, moon cycles etc because of fear. The fear that these things sit outside the box of Christianity, and therefore are evil. And when the church has offered spiritual healing, cutting soul-ties, and miraculous physical healing, I’ve equally kept it at my arms length because it all seemed a farce. This has left me standing still, ignoring both, and wanting more. But perhaps they are the same. And when I listen to other women, on both sides of the fence, talk about powerful experiences they’ve had in connecting with the Divine aka God, I want that too.

This is who I am.

A anti-establishment, sun-worshipping lizard.

A sensual thinker.

A rebellious God-seeker.

A woman on a journey.

I said before I’m constantly aware of my own expectations. Well, one slipped past me this week. I expected that by doing my own True You Treasure Hunt, I’d get clarity about some surface stuff. A decision to make, what to do next, etc.

Not an opening of my soul and a deeper understanding of who I am. The BEING not the DOING.

Which is ironic, because that is the whole point. I guess I just proved that it worked 🙂

So, who are you? Who is your being?

What is true for you?

If you don’t know, and you’re a thinker like me…. Caught up in the chaotic thoughts running around in your mind. Trying to catch the shuttle as it darts back and forth on the loom…

Try going on your own Treasure Hunt.

You won’t let you down.